Tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my best girl, Sadie.
She is 13 years old. She is my shadow, my protector, my soul keeper.
She has been beside me through more loss than most people could carry.
And now, it’s my turn to be beside her.
A Special Day, A Sacred Goodbye
Today, I am giving her a soft day.
A day of whatever she wants, snacks, sunshine, snuggles.
A day to be adored without any expectations.
A day to quietly whisper, “You are safe. You are so loved. You can rest.”
Tomorrow, I will hold her in my arms as she crosses the rainbow bridge.
She will not go alone.
How I’m Managing My Grief and Why I’m Sharing It
I share grief openly here not because it’s comfortable but because it’s necessary.
Too often, we treat death like a surprise, an inconvenience, or something to avoid.
But grief deserves space. So does planning. So does goodbye.
Sadie’s passing has not been rushed.
I have done my research. I know what to expect.
I’ve chosen the place, the time, the way.
Dignified.
That may sound cold to some. But for me, it’s love.
It’s a final act of protection.
A gift I can give to her, and to myself.
Holding Space for Everyone Else
Sadie lives with two younger dogs, Daisy and Dozer, who don’t yet know what tomorrow holds.
Daisy is especially bonded with her. Obsessed, really.
She will be confused. She may pace, wait, search.
Dozer will follow her lead.
So tomorrow, I will hold space for them; gently, simply, quietly.
I will let them smell her blanket. I will let them grieve however they need to.
And I will hold space for my partner, too.
A man who loves Sadie, but struggles with the pain of letting go.
He does not manage death well. Most people don’t.
But I will not ask him to do what he cannot do.
Instead, I will honor what he can.
And Most of All, I Will Hold Space for Me
I have canceled what I need to cancel.
I have given myself permission to break.
I will sit with the heartbreak. I will not shame it.
I will cry. I will ache.
And I will not try to rush through it.
Because this is love.
This is what it means to show up at the end.
To hold them until they’re gone, and still love them after.
Why This Matters
If you’re here, reading this blog, it’s likely because you’ve faced loss or will.
I share this because we don’t talk enough about intentional grief.
We don’t talk enough about preparing for goodbye.
Or how to keep showing up even when your heart is breaking.
So let this be an offering:
You can love them fiercely.
You can plan ahead.
You can fall apart afterward — and that, too, is part of the process.
Tomorrow, I will hold Sadie as she goes.
Today, I will give her the best day I can.
And every day after, I will carry her in my heart, forever.
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